home again, home again, jiggity jig
Some part of me has always loved the water--something about it relaxes me and unwinds all the tightness I carry with me through my life. I've lived most of my life by the Pacific Ocean, and I've spent much of my life in and on the water--kayaking, boogie boarding, snorkelling--but only recently have I begun to paddle more seriously. At best, I'm a reluctant athlete. In high school, the only way to keep me running around the track was to have the captain of the team running behind me...yelling at me. In college, I participated in a variety of sports, but they were all team sports--the kind of thing where you have friendships and beer on the line.

So it's remarkable to me, as I enter my supposed middle age, that I find myself consumed so completely by the sport of outrigger. At first, paddling was just a hobby--I tried dragonboating for a year, and the prospect of open water enticed me to try outrigger. My first day out, Phil threw me into an OC1--no instruction, just made sure I had the right gear, and a couple people nearby to notify the park if I drowned, I suppose. And I didn't drown--instead I fell in love with the sport.

SFOCC has been from the beginning a huge and ungainly family -- it has the trappings of a team, but underneath it, there's real community there. The kind that drives you a bit mad (like families do) and the kind that inspires you to grow and push yourself further than you knew was possible. I'm 36 now. That's older than I've ever been, and this past weekend, I paddled the longest race of my life--14 miles from Redwood City to the San Mateo bridge, and back (it's the back that gets ya). And I'm preparing to paddle the channel from Newport Beach to Catalina Island in a couple weeks. I'm terrified. And still, I'm stronger than I've ever been, I'm in the best shape of my entire life, and I'm doing things that terrify me on a regular basis. All that, and I'm more connected to the ocean and to the land than I have ever been.

Paddling allows me to combine two of my greatest loves--people and the outdoors. SFOCC teaches me to respect and trust the water, myself, and my teammates. In the end, it's all about the people working together. There's a moment when everything else goes away, and there's nothing else--just the perfection of the paddles hitting the water together, the boat moving through the water. It's the only kind of meditation I know. All the thoughts and noise in my mind are gone. It works through my urban anxieties, my suburban obsessions, and my rural isolation. There is only this moment, this boat. Breathing. Paddling. Water. Heart. Spirit.

What I've learned from SFOCC is that the chemistry of the boat is more important than its individual parts. I've seen underdog boats beat favorites--I've been in the boat when the coaches have pushed us, and gotten us to reach just a little farther, push just a little harder, and BAM. Suddenly, there is no trying, it just all gels, and we're in time, together, paddling with one heart, one paddle, one spirit (beating that supposed favorite...priceless). No amount of individual strength can compare to that.

Before I joined SFOCC, I dreamed about, but didn't think I'd ever accomplish, paddling around Alcatraz, or through the Golden Gate. I've done both now. And it's still part of my dream to go and do it again (and again). SFOCC allows me to experience the bay in a truly intimate way. It brings me home. Through paddling, I'm not just on the water, I'm part of the bay, part of my home. This is my home, and I am a part of it, as much as the ocean, the beach and the fog.

:: ewee 4:47:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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