water time
Hm, been awhile since I've been able to post. It's been summertime, with bbqs, outrigger, and just general madness all about. But now summer's winding down, and tho I'm sad to see the evenings getting darker and the weather starting to change (even tho, in the bay, this is just the precursor to our real summer weather), I'm looking forward to some cozy time by home and hearth (not that we have a fireplace...yet).

When it's just me and the water, it's interesting to notice how different my attitude becomes, even in only two hours. I'm usually more tense when I first set out, needing to loosen up and get used to the water and my boat. Then, once I'm feeling a little more confident, my competitive streak hits, and I want to prove myself, hang with the pack, and not be dfl (dead f@#$% last). Then, on the leg home (or sooner, depending), all I want is to get home -- my mouth watering as I pass Pier 39 and smell fries, hamburgers...

Honestly, I'm on the water because I love it. I love how it brings me closer to the place I've chosen to make my home. I love how I am forced to interact with Nature on a very real scale (i.e. me:small::Nature:big). I love imprinting this place--this Bay, the smells, the wind, the fog--under my skin. It's a way for me to come home and to meditate. It's a connection, a setting down roots.

But my overachiever training kicks in subconsciously, and instead of being in the moment, enjoying the challenge and learning, I become wrapped up in fear and judgment. And through it all is this sense of competition, which is accompanied by a sense of failure if I don't perform.

So, to balance this, I've been reading my Hand to Hand manual at night, trying to bring to my sport the mental balance that brings me ease. And in an article by the late Professor Coleen Gragen, I found a bit that helped me see what I need to work on next. In that article, she connects competitiveness to self-hatred and fear.

And it's true. I do want to be competitive and really push myself to do better. But I've also noticed something on the water. The fastest paddlers were the ones who were really enjoying the water. They are the most confident on the water and the ones having the most fun. It also helps that most of them have years of water time behind them, but one is a newbie. Newer than me, but her love of the water and her boat adds up to confidence in the water (and to being faster than me, dangnabit!).

My goal isn't to slack off. Instead, I want to focus on increasing my comfort level so I can move past the fear, and really enjoy being on the water. And in the meantime, everything I can do to stay on top of my boat (and not in the water), is a plus. If I come in dfl, I come in dfl. That's not to say I won't work hard not to dfl, but it staying in the moment and focussed on enjoying the water time is my best strategy for improvement.
Labels: h2h, inspiration, outrigger, paddling

:: ewee 9:10:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Wednesday, August 29, 2007 ::

outrigger surfing
check out when the boat goes *over* the ama. crazy. (and that's what i call a steering blade!)

Labels: outrigger, random, video

:: ewee 6:32:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Friday, July 27, 2007 ::

sfocc -- big club!
the gorgeous, hand-carved trophy we won last weekend in the sprints at foster city...and we're barely a big club. go SFOOOOOO! (and, dude, is that not an amazing photo...for a cameraphone? woohoo!)

Labels: outrigger, paddling

:: ewee 3:41:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Saturday, April 28, 2007 ::

sfocc practice to sinbad's and back

still playing with google maps. this is our practice route from saturday, 4/28. gorgeous and sunny day, oc-6 novice and open women's crews. nice ride down, strong headwind going home about 10 mi. (open boat went to bay bridge, so they went more like 10.5 mi.) 25-30 minute pieces with ladders, leapfrog and the like to keep us focussed.
Labels: outrigger, paddling

:: ewee 8:00:00 AM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Saturday, April 21, 2007 ::

sfocc practice around angel island

playing with google maps (pretty cool little toy. hoping to get a nice road trip or something in on it...). this is our practice route on saturday, 4/21. nice flat oc-6 ride out, and bumpy oc-2 ride (with debdeb) back. total practice about 3-4 hours (no watch, sorry), and mebbe 12 miles, without much stopping for breaks (a yogurt before practice, and a gu during). my first run around angel island. woohoo!
Labels: outrigger, paddling

:: ewee 8:00:00 AM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Wednesday, March 21, 2007 ::

spring, sproing, sprung
spring is (officially) here at last. march is being march, and vacillating between gorgeous summer weather, and winter rainy nonsense (and that's just in one day). but somehow that's appropriate for me. change is afoot, and i'm trying to ride it and stay positive (instead of my usual head-in-the-sand reaction).
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sweet lovechop
a coupla weeks ago, i said goodbye to baskie boy. sweet beasty lovechop. turns out that he's gotta fairly advanced (and aggressive) form of cancer, kidneys and lungs so far. it was heartbreaking and hard, at least in part because it's very much the end of an era, and part of a bigger letting go.

baskie being his stoic self, it was hard to see that anything was wrong. he's still the big lug who'll leap with amazing grace at any treat (and gulp it down with frightening alacrity). his eyes are as bright and as mischevious as always. it's his body that betrays his ailments. normally a dog fountain, now it's a struggle for him to produce even just a drop or two. when we first got there, he couldn't get up off the slippery lineoleum floor. but he was all too happy to hold court in the kitchen, wolfing down treats, and the occassional finger.

in some ways, i'd already made my peace (as much as i know how) with baskie's passing. but i was thankful for the chance to see him (with kehoe and loo) one more time.
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waltzing outrigga
made the happy connection (finally) last night about waltzing and paddling. people have been telling me for ages that the rhythm is like a waltz (ONE-two-three, ONE-two-three), and something clicked last night.

it wasn't perfect, but there were moments when everything was in alignment -- the boat paddled as one, the sunset was golden and pink and gorgeous behind the golden gate, and i was working hard enough to keep my nose running, and most of my body warm.
Labels: bask baskie dogs, change, outrigger, paddling, spring

:: ewee 12:23:00 PM [+] :: 1 comments ::
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